It's times like these when I thik maybe God just doesn't like me. And then I remember that I'm only 14 and I have my life to change.

It's really strange. I cry for the future but I could never picture moving out of here, getting married, leaving all this.

Well I could get rid of some of it. Like you baby. I want to get rid of you.

I just want someone to hold me right now and tell me they love me. It's one of those times when if I was little I would crawl in bed with Mommy.

I want to cry to. It's just the equvilant. And I really don't understand because I was told that when you are totally depressed your brain makes you laugh. I forgot what it's called but it's so you don't wig out. And hell it's so you don't die.

But you know, In don't like that fact that people I hate are IMing me like they've known me forever. And I HATE BEING ALONE. I HATE IT.

Like now. I can't go anywhere and I can't do anything. I miss my friends. And I miss my Saturday nights when people wanted me to come over. To laugh with them and have screaming fun.